"I'm a Facebook Database Scientist" [ditty]

I'm a Facebook Database Scientist
                          & I mind my Ps & Qs
I've a zillion on my client list
                          & I pay my union dues
every link you click   every page you pick
                          all becomes my grist-for-mill
I can analyze   lurking in your eyes
                          every wisp of whim or will
If you like a thing   I can feel the sting
                          on an unliked page obscure
when you tag a photo   I see & know
                          if indeed your thoughts are pure
I watch viral waves of happiness spread
                          I track epidemic blues
I'm a Facebook Database Scientist
                          & I mind my Ps & Qs



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Riffing (perhaps somewhat after Gilbert & Sullivan) on a news report, Facebook spreads emotions among friends (San Jose MercuryNews.com)
["Facebook data scientist" (that unintentionally-amusing phrase in the article) edited to "Facebook Database Scientist" (in the poem) for sake of cadence]